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JUST FOR FATHER'S DAY

 

A young boy was driving a hayrack down the road, and it turned over right in front of a farmer's house. The farmer came out, saw the young boy crying, and said, "Son, don't worry about this, we can fix it.  Right now dinners ready.  Why don't you come in and eat with us and then I'll help you put the hay back on the rack."  The boy said, "No, I can't.  My father is going to be very angry with me."  The farmer said, "Now don't worry, just come in and have some lunch and you'll feel better."  The boy said, "I'm just afraid my father is going to be very angry with me."  The farmer and the young boy went inside and had dinner.  Afterwards, as they walked outside to the hayrack, the farmer said, "Son, don't you feel better now?"  The boy said, "Yes but I just know that my father will be very angry with me."  The farmer said, "Nonsense.  Where is your father anyway?"  The boy said, "He's under that pile of hay."

 

If Men Were to Rewrite the Rules

 

Rule # 1 - Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 

All comments become null and void after seven days.

 

Rule # 2 - If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

 

Rule # 3 - It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

 

Rule # 4 - You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

 

Rule # 5 - Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

 

Rule # 6 - Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

 

Rule # 7 - When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "Is this is our exit?" is not necessary!

 

NEVER LEAVE YOUR PHONE UNATTENDED!!

 

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a

bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and

began to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

 

MAN: "Hello"

 

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

 

MAN: "Yes"

 

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat.

It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?

 

MAN: "Sure,. go ahead if you like it that much."

 

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."

 

MAN: "How much?"

 

WOMAN: "£70,000"

 

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

 

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £950,000"

 

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They

will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really

is a pretty good price."

 

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

 

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

 

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at

him in astonishment, mouths agape.....

 

He smiles and asks:

 

"Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

 

 

 

 

 

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