Hit Counter

Content View Hits : 12685768

Polls

What do you think of our website?
 

CI Features

 

CI News

 

A Yorkshire Farmer

A Yorkshire Farmer - Brilliant!!



A farmer named Sid was overseeing his stock in a remote moorland
pasture in North Yorkshire when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced
toward him out of a cloud of dust.The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer,
"If 
I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will
you give me a calf?"
Sid looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully

grazing stock and calmly answers,
"Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, 
connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASApage on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and 
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, 
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the farmer and says,
"You 
have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Sid. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with 
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the back of his car. Then Sid says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says,
"Okay, why
 not?""You're a Member of Parliament for our Government", says Sid.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the farmer.
"You showed up here even 
though nobody called you;
you want to get paid for an answer I already 
knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are;
and you 
don't know a thing about how working people make a living
- or about 
cows, for that matter.
This is a herd of sheep. ...

Now give me back my dog!

 

facebook_logo

 

Who's Online

We have 318 guests online

Newsflash

Jubilee 2025
Jubilee 2025

 

donate long teal

 

button oval red md wht

Parish contact
information

 

Accord

 

webcam

 

syndo1xxsmall

 

Diary dates

 

Standing Orders

 
alt
 alt
 
 

LLTCA

 

WHO? WHAT? WHERE?


Funeral Directors

HKL Banbridge Chronicle Ad small web

Quinn Bros Funeral Services logo 418x128

McAlinden Murtagh newsflash

j mclearnon.

Nesbitt Memorials web ad

 Lillie1

 

 

globeanim2Care for our Common Home

 

Laudato Si

 
Designed and developed by Getonline