To Change is to Grow

To Grow is to Change often……

Education For Life/Youth Alive

P.O. Box 941 PRETORIA 0001

South Africa

“There is a quiet light that shines in every heart.

Though it is always secretly there,

it draws no attention to itself.

It is what illuminates our minds to see beauty,

our desire to seek possibility and our hearts to love life...

This shy inner light is what enables

us to recognise and receive

our every presence here as blessings”.

John O’ Donohue

Dear Fr Powell, Fr McDonagh, Family, Friends & Parishioners

Greetings from South Africa!

It was great to be in touch with you again during my recent home-leave and still there is no place like home! Your friendship and support will always be a revenue of strength and encouragement as I carry out my apostolate among the people of South Africa. From the bottom of my heart I thank each of you for your kindness, prayers and financial assistance.

This week I am with Fr Joe and Emmanuel as we conduct the national EFL leader’s conference, in Durban. Together with the leaders from South African, Botswana and Swaziland we will continue to discern the direction we must take to address a number of life threatening concerns among our pre-teens (10 – 14 year olds). I will rely on your prayers as always.

My warmest and heart-felt congratulations to Fr Stephen Crossan, on his Priestly ordination. This is a major event for the whole parish and dare I say one that happens seldom. Be assured of my prayer, Stephen.

May Christ reign in our hearts.

Sr Bernadette Duffy

Holy Cross Sisters – South Africa

The Magi understood the true meaning of Christmas : to give.

God gave His best, His most valuable treasure – His Son.

He gave out of love. And the Child of Bethlehem also gave:

He gave Himself in His death on the cross.

Dear Fr Powell, Fr McDonagh & Parishioners

I pray my Christmas greetings find you all in good health and deep inner peace.

Yes, it that time of the year again when treasured memories of family and friends comes to mind. The year past has meant for many new life in the birth of little babies, for others it has meant deep sorrow and pain in the loss of loved ones. For some students it has meant passing of important examinations and for others it has resulted in failings! Some passed driving tests and others will try again! But at the end of the day we count our blessings in so many ways knowing that we are not alone, God - Emmanuel is being born in our hearts again, this very moment.

I wish you all a Christ-filled, peaceful and loving Christmas and New Year 2008!

Sr Bernadette Duffy : South Africa

03 December 2007

Education for Life Program Survey – 2006

Introduction

Surveys were administered in 2006 to four groups of South African students (primarily 14 - 25 year old girls) who participated in the South Africa Catholic Bishops Conference (CBC) Education for Life (EFL) abstinence-until-marriage education program.

CBC conducts the EFL program in parishes and schools and has affiliate offices in various African countries including: Zambia, Uganda, Kenya, South Africa, Tanzania, Malawi, Botswana, and Namibia. This program is funded through private donations. They conducted four 5-day programs with 40 – 60 kids per program. They reach about 600 kids per year. The EFL Program is a “conversion process that leads participants through introspection to face the reality of their present situation to identify, name and own behaviors, attitudes, and values that are not compatible with living the Gospel values.” Sr. Bernadette Duffy, EFL National Coordinator, related that (based on the youth with which they work) poverty, low employment rates (which leads to men working away from their families), sexually explicit media, and cultural traditions (e.g., circumcision with unclean utensils) are the major factors contributing to the spread of HIV/AIDS in South Africa.

The survey was conducted in three intervals: a pre-program survey was offered prior to instruction, a second survey was offered at the mid-point, and a post-program survey was offered shortly after instruction was completed. On all three surveys, the students were asked the same four questions. However, on the post survey, two additional questions were asked. The objective of the survey was to measure students’ knowledge, attitudes and intentions regarding sexual abstinence-until-marriage.

Data

There were 210 students who took the survey, and between 175-190 answered all three surveys completely. Surveys that were not answered completely (i.e. missing information) were discarded.

Between 95-97% of the students were girls, so although the data from boys is reflected in total numbers, the sample size was far too small to draw any conclusions. Additionally, the sample sizes of girls who were 14, 18, and over 19 years of age (each a separate category), are reflected in total numbers, but no conclusions were drawn individually in the graphs because of small size of the sample.

In these surveys, the ages primarily represented were girls age 15, 16, and 17. The graphs below reflect the changes in attitudes and understanding before the program, in the middle, and after the program were completed. The data reflected in the graphs below are “all girls (girls age 14-19>),” “girls age 15,” “girls age 16,” and “girls age 17.”

Conclusions

In every single question posed, the understanding, attitudes, and intentions of the girls, from before the instruction was received until after the program was completed, was increased positively towards understanding the meaning and importance of abstinence, faithfulness, and intention to be abstinent-until-marriage. In some cases, understanding increased as much as 20 percent (see first graph, “Girl’s Age 17”).

 

• All girls’ understanding increased from 79% before program to 96% after program.
• Girl’s age 15 understanding increased from 68% before program to 94% after program.
• Girl’s age 16 understanding increased from 81% before the program to 97% after the program.
• Girl’s age 17 understanding increased from 79% before the program to 98% after the program.

 

• All girls’ understanding increased from 79% before program to 93% after program.
• Girl’s age 15 understanding increased from 88% before the program to 89% after the program.
• Girl’s age 16 understanding increased from 81% before the program to 96% after the program.
• Girls age 17 understanding increased from 77% before program to 96% after program

 

• All girls who said they made a commitment to be abstinent increased from 63% before the program to 71% after the program.
• Girl’s age 15 who said they made a commitment to be abstinent increased from 80% before the program to 89% after the program.
• Girl’s age 16 who said they made a commitment to be abstinent increased from 64% before the program to 68% after the program.
• Girl’s age 17 who said they made a commitment to be abstinent increased from 58% before the program to 69% after the program.

 

• All girls who thought that it was important to be sexually abstinent until marriage increased from 78% before the program to 85% after the program.
• Girl’s age 15 who thought that it was important to be sexually abstinent until marriage increased from 83% before the program to 89% after the program.
• Girl’s age 16 who thought that it was important to be sexually abstinent until marriage increased from 81% before the program to 86% after the program.
• Girl’s age 17 who thought that it was important to be sexually abstinent until marriage increased from 74% before the program to 77% after the program.

 

• 81% of all girls said their understanding of sexual abstinence changed after they finished the program.
• 78% of girl’s age 15 said their understanding of sexual abstinence changed after they finished the program.
• 81% of girl’s age 16 said their understanding of sexual abstinence changed after they finished the program.
• 88% of girl’s age 17 said their understanding of sexual abstinence changed after they finished the program.

 

• 79% of all girls said their understanding of faithfulness in marriage changed after they finished the program.
• 75% of girl’s age 15 said their understanding of faithfulness in marriage changed after they finished the program.
• 81% of girl’s age 16 said their understanding of faithfulness in marriage changed after they finished the program.
• 85% of girl’s age 17 said their understanding of faithfulness in marriage changed after they finished the program.

Raw Data

Questionnaire 1

190 Female (97%)

5 Male (3%)

(1) Do you understand the meaning of sexual abstinence?

• 79 % (150/190) of girls said “Yes”
• 100% (5/5) boys said “Yes”

• 100% (2/2) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

• 68% (27/40) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

• 81% (63/78) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

• 79% (42/53) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

• 92% (11/12) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

• 100% (5/5) of girls 19 or older said “Yes”

(2) Do you understand the meaning of faithfulness in marriage?

• 79% (151/190) of girls said “Yes”
• 100% (5/5) of boys said “Yes”

• 50% (1/2) of girls aged14 said “Yes”

• 88% (35/40) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

• 81% (63/78) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

• 77% (41/53) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

• 67% (8/12) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

• 60% (3/4) of girls age 19 or older said “Yes”

(3) Have you made a commitment to be abstinent until marriage?

• 63% of girls said “yes”
• 0% of boys said “yes”
• 100% (2/2) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

• 80% (32/40) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

• 64% (50/78) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

• 58% (31/53) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

• 25% (3/12) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

• 20% (1/5) of girls age 19 said “Yes”

(4) Do you think it is important to be sexually abstinent until marriage?

• 78% (148/190) of girls said “Yes”
• 100% (5/5) of boys said “Yes”

• 100% (2/2) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

• 83% (33/40) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

• 81% (63/78) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

• 74% (39/53) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

• 58% (7/12) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

• 80% (4/5) of girls age 19 or older said “Yes”

Questionnaire 2

166 Female (95%)

8 Male (5%)

(1) Do you understand the meaning of sexual abstinence?

• 95% (157/166) of girls said “Yes”
• 100% (8/8) of boys said “Yes”

• 100% (2/2) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

• 97% (34/35) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

• 94% (64/68) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

• 94% (47/50) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

• 100 % (3/3) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

• 75% (3/4) of girls age 19 said “Yes”

(2) Do you understand the meaning of faithfulness in marriage?

• 85% (141/166) of girls said “Yes”
• 100% (5/5) of boys said “Yes”

• 50% (1/2) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

• 89% (31/35) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

• 90% (61/68) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

• 80% (40/50) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

• 83% (5/6) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

• 50% (24) of girls age 19 or older said “Yes”

(3) Have you made a commitment to be abstinent until marriage?

• 66% (110/166) of girls said “Yes”
• 13% (1/8) of boys said “Yes”

• 100% (3/3) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

• 86% (30/35) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

• 65% (44/68) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

• 56% (28/52) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

• 50% (3/6) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

• 50% (2/4) of girls age 19 or older said “Yes”

4) Do you think it is important to be sexually abstinent until marriage?

• 78% (129/166) of girls said “Yes”
• 100% (8/8) of boys said “Yes”

• 100% (3/3) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

• 83% (29/35) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

• 74% (50/68) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

• 76% (38/50) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

• 83% (5/6) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

• 100% (4/4) of girls age 19 or older said “Yes”

Questionnaire #3

167 Female (96%)

7 Male (4%)

(1) Do you understand the meaning of sexual abstinence?

• 96% (162/168) of girls said “Yes”

• 100% (7/7) of boys said “Yes”

• 100% (3/3) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

• 94% (34/36) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

• 97% (67/69) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

• 98% (47/48) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

• 100% (7/7) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

• 100% (5/5) of girls age 19 or older said “Yes”

(2) Do you understand the meaning of faithfulness in marriage?

· 93% (156/168) of girls said “Yes”

· 86% (6/7) of boys said “Yes”

· 67% (2/3) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

· 89% (32/36) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

· 96% (66/69) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

· 96% (46/48) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

· 100% (7/7) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

· 100% (5/5) of girls age 19 or older said “Yes”

(3) Have you made a commitment to be abstinent until marriage?

· 71% (118/167) of girls said “Yes”

· 14% (1/7) of boys said “Yes”

· 100% (3/3) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

· 89% (32/36) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

· 68% (47/69) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

· 69% (29/48) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

· 71% (5/7) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

· 40% (2/5) of girls age 19 or older said “Yes”

4) Do you think it is important to be sexually abstinent until marriage?

· 85% (142/167) of girls said “Yes”

· 100% (7/7) of boys said “Yes”

· 100% (3/3) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

· 89% (32/36) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

· 86% (59/69) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

· 77% (37/48) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

· 86% (6/7) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

· 100% (5/5) of girls age 19 or older said “Yes”

(5) Since you began this program, has your understanding of sexual abstinence changed?

• 81% (136/168) of girls said “Yes”
• 71% (5/7) of boys said “Yes”
• 67% (2/3) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

• 78% (28/36) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

• 81% (56/69) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

• 88% (42/48) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

• 57% (4/7) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

• 80% (4/5) of girls age 19 or older said “Yes”

(6) Since you began this program, has your understanding of faithfulness in marriage changed?

• 79% (133/168) of girls said “Yes”
• 86% (6/7) of boys said “Yes”

• 33% (1/3) of girls age 14 said “Yes”

• 75% (27/36) of girls age 15 said “Yes”

• 81% (56/69) of girls age 16 said “Yes”

• 85% (41/48) of girls age 17 said “Yes”

• 57% (4/7) of girls age 18 said “Yes”

• 80% (4/5) of girls age 19 or older said “Yes”

Vol. 3 : Issue 7 February 2007

Dear Education For Life Friends

As you continue into the New Year we wish you all a renewed and ever deeper experience of God’s love on your journey.

This month we have chosen as our reflection to look at the reality of FEAR! Have you ever felt fearful and used it as an escape to leave a good undone, a word unspoken, a joy unexpressed, a hurt unhealed or a friend alone!!

Let’s look at what fear challenges us to….

A young man sits at the end of his chair and faces the counsellor, he can feel his heart beat like an uncontrollable bird seeking freedom. The counsellor then asks “ what is wrong?’’ He responds, “ I am afraid ………………… as the young man unravels his life story the counsellor becomes very aware that the fear the young man carries is fear of change! There is a lot at stake, this young man desires a new way of life, he wants to do things differently but he is also afraid of loosing his friends and the lifestyle that he lived. He feels fearful of letting go the past and moving forward, he fears that stripping the old self may rob him of life and his identity.

This young man’s desire for change and the fear of letting go is not unique. We all experience the fear of change, in fact we all experience fear of FEAR in general!

Fear can be a paralyzing emotion. It is so prominent in our daily lives today that people are constantly trying to protect themselves from the things they fear. We build high walls, erect electric fences, purchase guns and are ready for defence at the first signs of attack! (At least in South Africa!!) Even in our relationships we so often fear one another. In the face of conflict among good friends we fear to confront the truth, we fear to challenge one another, we fear the opinions of others. We fear the darkness of the evening and we constantly look over our shoulders as we walk in the streets. We allow ourselves to become slaves of fear and subsequently we judge everything through the eyes of fear. How sad!

The Different faces of fear

In the bible the words : “Do not be afraid” are recorded 366 times. It would appear that the Lord is very aware of the presence of fear in all our lives and reassures us 366 times not to fear – one reminder for every day of the year and in case we still doubt He echoes it once again – 366 times!

One of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is ‘Fear of the Lord’, this type of fear has a lot to do with respect. The same type of fear that makes us feel that we are not worthy to even share the same radius with this Divine Being. Our fear of the Lord has become evident through our fear of silence. We are a society that fears pondering. Maybe what we are really afraid of is what we could find in our reflection. Very often we are really afraid of the face of the Lord who we truly seek.

“The Lord is my life’s refuge of whom am I afraid” Psalm 27 : The Lord calls us to discover that all power is with him. When one feels afraid we should know that we are witnessing a moment or a sense of God, God who invites us to STOP! To LISTEN! To be SILENT! He invites us to reflect on our lives and above calls us to be confident that He acts on our behalf. We need to learn to find God in the middle of our fears. He continues to keep his promise “I have come that you may have life and have it to the fullest” Jn 10:10.

Article by Lawrence Mduduzi Ndlovu

Education For Life youth facilitator - Johannesburg

REFLECTION :

• Is fear a reality in my life?

• How does it register itself?

• How do I cope with it?

• Reflecting on my present reality what are my biggest fears?

• How do I name them?

• What alternatives have I to living with fear?

• What can I change so that fear becomes a companion on my journey rather than a nightmare?

• What advice can I give to my peers about confronting the fears we face in life?

• How can we become proactive rather than reactive to fear?

“DO NOT BE AFRAID -

I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS”

Matthew 28:20

FEAR!

Don’t be afraid of fear because fear is afraid of itself,

You give into fear when you doubt yourself -

Fear makes you a complete opposite of yourself

Draining every bit of confidence your body has left

Fear tricks you of your potential wiping away your credentials

A life ruled by fear is life without hope

Of course people are going to have rainy days but with fear,

everyday you will have your droughts

Be confident and put your head up high

How can fear overtake

you when you’re looking

at the beautiful clouds high in the sky

rico graham

December Newsletter

Dear Education For Life Friends

The Word Made Flesh

The meaning of the Christmas Season

‘Only by turning our thoughts to God at Christmas time can we understand the true value

of each individual person without exception, beginning with ourselves.

There is no other yardstick for human value, greatness and dignity.

Therein lies the mystery of Christmas.”

Pope John Paul II

More than ever in our world today we have to admit there is a rapid invasion of materialism, individualism, secularism and consumerism. And no greater time of the year, than Christmas, do we see some of these isms play a major role in our lives as we franticly rush around looking for gifts, the latest electronics, material goods, food, drink, clothes, etc to satisfy our needs.

Off course Christmas is a great time of celebration especially with the return of family members and anticipated happy reunions. However, in the midst of the glitter and tinsel used to mesmerise us and confuse our emotions I think, without putting a spoke in the wheel, we have to ask ourselves the question how does the Incarnation of Christ find its way to making meaning within our hearts, if we really believe in the true value of each individual person without exception, beginning with ourselves?

I have been reflecting about this wonderful mystery and I am convinced that the Incarnation of Christ is a living reality each time I witness growth and new born freedom experienced in the lives and hearts of so many of our own young people who have gone through the process offered by Education For Life.

I take this opportunity to share with you a few short experiences where the personal encounter with Christ has had life-changing effects. I have been given permission to share these experiences.

A young man in mid twenties was caught up in drugs and alcohol. He was involved in a love relationship that ended in him being labelled with an unwanted pregnancy. The girl had an abortion over which he deeply grieved at the loss of life. He later discovered that he was not the father of the baby. After attending the Education For Life programme he began to see his whole life in a very different light. He changed his behaviour drastically, converted of his past and entered the priesthood having suppressed his vocational call for many years. He is now a beautiful young man living a life of deep Christian and human values.

A young woman in her early twenties had suffered many years in an non-functional family where she was often the victim of abuse. She could never stand up to the abuses against her especially from her stepfather. After he left home and everything was going well with the mother and her siblings the stepfather returned and the abuse continued. After attending Education For Life for a number of times this young woman managed to grow in assertiveness and decided to walk out of the abusive situation and take control of her own life. She is managing well now, with a full time job and managing her own flat. She has come a long road in forgiving her past and her stepfather. She has grown into a beautiful person and is now discerning in freedom her future.

Another young woman who was the victim of rape grieved with the decision of whether or not to abort or bring into the world a child she never planned and who she would have to love for the rest of her life while living with the memories of that horrendous experience. Through the Education for Life process she decided the child was innocent and bravely gave birth to a beautiful little girl whose smile would melt your heart. Today the little girl is seven years old and tragically lives with HIV/AIDS.

Our last story tells of a young man in his early thirties who was a member of a gang who stole cars, dealt in drugs, abused alcohol, involved himself in serious fights, etc. During one of the Education For Life programmes he started to tell his life story and how he was involved in a gang fight one night that left another man for dead while the police took chase, arresting two of his companions. He managed to escape. He realised this is not the direction that he wants for the rest of his future and has made a full turn around. Today he is one of our Education For Life facilitators and is helping other youth to make changes in their behaviour.

These real life stories reflect the true meaning of Christmas – the Incarnation of Christ in hearts ready to welcome him and seriously embrace the Word of Life echoed in the words of St. John 10:10

“I have come that you may have life

and have it abundantly….”

Reflection :

What does the story of Christmas really mean for me?

Where in my life has the Incarnation of Christ – The Word made Flesh - become a living reality?

What areas of my life has Christ still to be born?

What gift can I give to my friends and family this Christmas that will sustain behaviour change and make Christ a living reality?

To all our friends, benefactors and co-workers we say :

& A blessed New Year

Sr Bernadette Duffy, Emmanuel Modikwane, Fr Joe Kizito